Are you curious about homeschooling but are confused by all the different styles you hear about? I know when I was first considering homeschooling my kids, it was a lot to take in. Waldorf, Eclectic, Classical. What’s the difference. But perhaps the most mysterious of all was this whole “unschooling” thing. Do you just not teach your kids anything? Do you just let them run wild? So here is a beginner’s guide to unschooling that will hopefully help you understand what this style of homeschooling is all about!
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What is Unschooling?
There are many definitions of unschooling out there. To me, it simply means the absence of school. It means that learning is already part of life, and school is not necessary in order for learning to take place. This is a radical concept for many. To think that we might just not need school at all! But allow me to elaborate and you might find that you agree with me on some of the points.
Think about how adults learn. Take this blog for instance. When I was first starting out, I had no idea how to set up a website. I had never used Instagram. I had never made a YouTube video (or done any video editing at all!) But I got the idea and I wanted to do it, so I figured it out. I used the tools available to me in order to teach myself and threw myself into it because it was interesting and enjoyable to me. I got ideas from friends, I did a lot of research on the internet, and lots of trial and error too.
This is how adults learn something when they want to or need to. If we want to make a new meal, we find a recipe and learn how to cook it. If we want take up a new hobby, we enroll in a class, or read a book, or get advice from friends. When we want to try something for ourselves, such as doing our own taxes or changing the oil in our car, we learn how and then we attempt to do it. Nobody needs to force us to learn these things, because when we want to learn something, we just do!
Unschooling is basically taking this same approach when it comes to children. Ditching the idea of “school” entirely, and instead being more of a mentor or guide for our children, helping them to learn what they are interested in learning, and giving them access to the resources needed to do so.
How Can Children Learn Anything Without School?
This is a concern for many parents, and a common belief held my many adults as well. So many people believe that school is necessary in order for children to learn. I am here to say that this just isn’t true. School has its place, and can be great for many families, especially when both parents work and need somewhere to send their children during the day. But school in and of itself is definitely not required in order to learn. It is simply one possibility, on the huge continuum of learning.
This doesn’t mean that teaching isn’t needed. People are taught many things throughout their lives. My Grandma taught me much of what I know about cooking. My Dad taught me about how to drive a stick shift, basic car maintenance, and got me started on how to play guitar. It was my mom who taught me about history and science and gave me a lifelong love of reading. My husband taught me how to play chess. The list goes on and on. Teaching and learning is really just part of life.
So how do kids learn the basics, like reading, writing and math? This is a big question I get all the time, and it really depends on your child. With unschooling, you have the freedom to teach however you want. Let your child take the lead. If they like books, read them lots of books. They will start asking questions about words they see. They will see words on TV, on toys, on signs and packages of food and everywhere you look. These are all opportunities to learn.
Related – https://eschooled.com/why-kids-dont-need-school-6-big-reasons/
Math really is everywhere. My daughter was always interested in playing with money, so we made games out of it. I would put “prices” on household items, give her some money and let her “buy” them from me. Cooking is a great way to teach about fractions and measurements. You can teach your kids to tell time by having them look at the clock whenever they ask “how long until?” or “what time is it?” Same goes for the calendar and days of the week. So much learning can happen as part of daily life!
It really is easier than you may think. When kids want to learn something, they act a lot like adults do. When they are interested in learning, it comes easily. You don’t have to force, coerce, or bribe them to do it in any way. You don’t have to struggle, and get frustrated, and throw up your hands because your kid just really does not want to sit at the table doing worksheets. Can you really blame them? Would you want to learn anything that way?
What if I Don’t Know the Answer?
Many parents worry that without a set curriculum, they won’t know how to teach their children things, especially if they aren’t good at the subject themselves. The good news is you need not feel pressured to know everything. You can learn together. And if buying a traditional curriculum for a particular subject is the way you decide to learn, that’s fine! There really is no right or wrong. Unschooling gives you the freedom to just live life! If your children want to learn about dinosaurs, and you don’t know the first thing about dinosaurs, you’re going to end up learning together. Through books, movies, a visit to the science museum, a class that you sign up for, whatever you want.
I know this is a really hard concept to wrap your mind around if you have never considered it before. Society has taught us that school is a necessary part of life that all children must go through as they grow toward adulthood. It’s tough to think that maybe, just maybe, this isn’t true. Maybe school is just an option that we can choose to take part in or not. In my family, we chose not to, and the world has not come to an end!
Don’t miss my related post – Eight Homeschooling Myths for New Homeschoolers!
Will I Ruin My Kids By Not Sending Them to School?
No, you will not ruin your children. You are not doing them a disservice by choosing to live a life without school. You really will be giving them an invaluable gift – the gift of freedom. The gift of so many hours and days of their life back. They can use that time to discover their true interests, develop lifelong friendships, explore many different aspects of life that aren’t taught in school, and so much more.
This is not to say there is no fun to be had in school. Many children love school, and that’s great. Unschooling is all about choice, and if the choice my family made was someday to go to school, then we would figure that out too. But there is so much life to be lived, so much to learn, so much freedom and joy when you make that leap of faith and really embrace the idea that school is just not necessary.
Watch what your kids choose to do with their time when they aren’t doing “school.” That’s where your opportunity to teach lies. Their interests are really the best place to get started. Unschooling does not mean “unlearning” – it just means you don’t need traditional school in order to learn.
For some great unschooling resources, check out my post The Best Unschooling Blogs to Check Out Today.
Are Unschooling Families “Weird”?
Well that all depends on your definition of weird! But what I can say is, there is no one size fits all when it comes to the types of families that unschool. I can only tell you about us. I have a Bachelor’s Degree in Mathematics and until recently was climbing the corporate ladder at a major insurance company. My husband is a custodian at a local elementary school. We live in a rural area on the outskirts of the suburbs of Connecticut.
My 9 year old daughter loves music and dance, animals and art, video editing, Minecraft and Roblox, playing outside and getting cozy in front of the TV. My 4 year old daughter likes puzzles and unicorns, painting, gymnastics and Disney princesses. Her twin brother loves cards and anything that goes fast, dancing, drums, dinosaurs and being outside. We like nature, video games, dining out, fairs and carnivals, movies and games, beach trips and nights by the fire. We think we are a pretty average family!
What if My Kids Just Want to Watch TV All Day?
This may happen at times, especially if this freedom of choice is new to them, or if television and screen time was heavily restricted in the past. There is a tendency in life, for all people, to want what they can’t have, and to binge on something if it was previously restricted. You will find a balance. The key is learning to relinquish control and having faith in your kids.
You also have the job of exposing them to all sorts of different things. If kids don’t know something exists, they can’t show a preference or dislike for it. So you have to provide options. You need to take them places, go exploring, try new things together. Read books on all sorts of different subjects. If they show an interest in something, find out what options there are in your local community.
What if I’m Not a Stay at Home Parent?
You can still do unschooling even if you aren’t home all day. You just have to get a bit more creative. I know this is a reason why so many parents send their kids to school in the first place, because they need somewhere for their kids to be during the day while they work.
When I first started homeschooling, I worked at home full time for a corporate job. There wasn’t a lot of time during the day for me to do these kinds of things with my daughter, but we made it work. My husband worked second shift – so he was able to spend time with her during the day. I had the evenings free. The great thing about unschooling is there is no set time of day or even day of the week that you need to stick to. You make your own schedule (or don’t make a schedule at all). So you definitely can work around it. You may have to be creative with the childcare, but it can be done!
You Don’t Have to Go it Alone
I bet you will be surprised to find how many other families are homeschooling and even unschooling in your community. Facebook is a great place to find local groups and connect with other homeschool families. It may take a bit of time to find your people, but eventually you will start to build connections with other families that share similar interests. This makes it so much more fun for everyone, so I really do suggest you get started on this if you are considering homeschooling or unschooling.
I hope this helped clear up some of the common questions about unschooling. Feel free to reach out to me for any information, I am here to help!
