Positive parenting is wonderful and has been such a great help to many families. I am often surprised how many parents still don’t know about positive parenting and how it can help them. If you’re just getting started with positive discipline, or if you have been practicing for awhile but could use a refresher, here are the positive parenting tips that all parents should know.
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Positive Parenting Tip #1 – Focus on Connection
One of the best things any parent can do is to prioritize connecting with their child. When we build a positive and loving relationship with our children, parenting is just easier. Kids who feel connected to their parents trust their authority and WANT to do things to please their parents, rather than upsetting them. Kids often misbehave because negative attention is better than no attention.
How do you focus on connection with your children? One way is to make sure you show your kids physical signs of affection (as long as they are receptive). Hugs, kisses, cuddling up on the couch, things like this really matter to kids.
Another way is through play. Let your children choose the activity and really have fun with it. Your kids can tell the difference if you aren’t enjoying yourself, so if there’s an activity you absolutely hate (like playing dolls), have them come up with a few choices and pick the one you will have the most fun with.
Related – https://eschooled.com/how-to-get-along-better-with-your-kids/
Remember, quality matters more than quantity. If you aren’t engaged and having a blast with your kids, it doesn’t matter how long you play with them. Make it fun. Make memories together. Build that relationship and make it a priority and you will see how much better your kids behave!
Set Clear Limits and Stick to Them!
A common misconception about positive parenting is that there is no discipline. This couldn’t be further from the truth. While parents who practice positive parenting don’t hand out unrelated punishments in a reactive way, we definitely set boundaries and there are consequences to unwanted behaviour.
The second item on the list of positive parenting tips is to set clear limits that your children understand. Once the limit is set, don’t back down. Calmly enforce it. Consistency is very important for children, and if they know you will bend the rules if they make a scene, or ask a million times, then that’s exactly what they will do.
Let’s say you set a bedtime for 8:00pm. You children understand that bedtime is at 8. You give them reminders as it gets closer to bedtime. Bedtime comes and your kids beg to stay up a little longer. Calmly tell them that bedtime is at 8, and encourage them to come get ready for bed. If they still won’t come, let them know there won’t be time for a story if they don’t cooperate. If they still don’t want to come, remind them of how much less fun they will have the next day when they are tired from lack of sleep.
Once they do come, remember not to give in and read the story. Next time they may remember that if they delay bedtime, there isn’t time for stories.
Positive Parenting Tips – Avoid Reacting Emotionally
This positive parenting tip takes some practice and lots of patience, but it does get easier over time. Kids are used to reacting emotionally, so it can be hard not to do the same. But when we do this, we add fuel to the fire instead of bringing calming energy. Remaining calm as much as possible, even when your child is pushing your buttons and you feel like screaming, is one of the most important positive parenting tips.
If you feel yourself getting frustrated and about to lose your cool, step away for a minute. Let your child know you’re feeling frustrated and need to step away for a moment to take some deep breaths. Then come back and try again.
Not only does this help not to escalate the situation, but by showing your child that you can remain calm, you will be teaching your child important skills about being able to regulate their emotions. Which brings me to my next positive parenting tip:
Model the Behavior that You Want to See in Your Child
Modeling is one of the best tools that we have as parents. Children are so much more likely to do what you DO rather than what you SAY. If your actions are contradicting your words, this can be very confusing for children. We are our children’s first role models, so we need to be conscious of this and always try to behave in a way that we would be proud to see our kids copy.
This means if we want our kids to have good manners, we must practice good manners ourselves. If we want our kids to be kind to others, we must show others kindness (including our children). If we want our kids to keep their rooms tidy, we must keep our room tidy as well. The list goes on and on but the message is simple. Children will do what they see us doing. So if we don’t like the behavior we see in our kids – first we should take a good look at our own behavior and check if there is anything we are doing that our kids might be picking up on.
Positive Parenting Tip #5 – Be Consistent
One of the biggest mistakes that all parents can make is to not be consistent with discipline. Kids, especially younger ones, do best when they understand the rules and know that the consequences to not following the rules will be enforced.
Sometimes if can be so hard not to give in, especially if your kids are causing a scene in public, or getting in your face asking the same question a million times after you’ve already said no. The thing is, when you give in, they learn that if they throw a fit or yell and scream, it can get them what they want. They also aren’t really sure if you mean what you say, and this diminishes your authority.
So set boundaries and stick to them. Once you get more comfortable enforcing them, it really does get easier. Once your kids learn that they can’t change your mind no matter how hard they try, they will stop trying so hard. It may sound harsh, but in reality, kids are much happier when they know there are rules and they know that their parents will calmly enforce them.
I hope this list of positive parenting tips will help you and your family. I’d love you hear your thoughts!
