Are you expecting twins? Congratulations! Life with twins can be truly amazing and blessed. From the moment you get the news, the excitement of expecting two babies never wanes. It seems everyone gets excited about twins – even strangers! Through all that excitement, it’s understandable for there to be a fair amount of worry as well. Is life with twins really that much different than life with a singleton? You bet!
I had my singleton first, so I had something to compare it to. Read on to learn all about what life with twins is like, from the newborn stage to toddlerhood.
Pregnant with twins? Check out my article on Twin Pregnancy!
Life with Newborn Twins
Life with a newborn is hectic. Life with newborn twins can be doubly so. Twice the feedings, night wakings, diaper changes and bedtimes. The days can all blur into each other as you struggle to stay afloat. If you’re nursing or pumping exclusively, expect that to take up a huge part of your day those first few weeks. If you’re using formula or bottles, expect your counter to be littered with bottle parts. In many ways, this is the worst of it. You will probably never be more tired in your life.
It takes time to get your groove, so cut yourself some slack. You won’t be able to keep up with the household chores like before, so go into this with the right expectations (and by this I mean LOW!). This stage will not last forever. In hindsight, it goes by much too fast! Since you likely won’t be going many places with newborn twins, don’t worry if things pile up. This is not the time to be worrying about impressing company!
If you can afford it, you might consider hiring a cleaning service, even once a month. If not, make use of any offers of help that you get. Especially if you are nursing or dealing with lots of waking at night, you will need to get as much rest as possible. Leave the chores except the most necessary for a few weeks down the road. Life with twins is messy!
For a more in depth look at the first six months with twins – check out this article!
Life with Twins – the First Year
Once you survive the newborn twins stage (and you WILL survive it!) some things will get a little bit easier. There will be fewer night wakings, fewer diaper changes, fewer feedings. As your babies grow bigger and stronger, they will be able to entertain themselves a bit while you tend to other things. Simple toys, a play mat or gym, and a safe enclosed area for them to play in will be life savers. You will soon learn one of the great benefits or having twins – they each have an around the clock playmate!
Some twin parents spend a lot of time trying to keep things separate, especially first time parents. My advice to you during this stage and beyond is to forget about that! Bottles, pacifiers, sippy cups, toys and germs – my twins share it all. Since they are boy/girl twins they don’t usually share clothes, but things that we can get in gender neutral colors such as socks, blankets, sleep sacks, etc., they most certainly share. What twin parent really has the time to keep all this stuff separate anyway?
As far as illnesses go – even if you try to keep everything separate, if one twin gets sick the other likely will as well (and probably you too!) This is a part of life with twins that you will soon get used to.
This is the stage where your twins will start eating solid foods. Feeding two babies at the same time isn’t always fun. If you don’t want this to be a habit for years to come, you might want to start teaching them to feed themselves. As messy as it can be, it’s worth it.
As your twins get more interested in toys, they may begin to fight over them at times. I don’t suggest getting two of everything – they will still often want what the other has. Or they’ll end up fighting over the most random things. My twins once fought over a rag! Besides, children tire of toys so easily, it just makes more sense to buy different toys that they can both take turns enjoying (or playing with together). Pass this info on to family and friends or you might be getting a lot of duplicate gifts!
Getting Out With Twins
Those first few weeks and maybe even months with twins, it might be hard to get out of the house. Eventually, you will want to venture out and bring your babies with you too. It can be difficult to manage, but there are some things that will make it easier.
For the newborn and infant stage, make sure you have a stroller that you can snap your infant car seats into. Especially if you are on your own, carrying two baby seats gets heavy real fast. You might also want to bring along a twin baby carrier – but don’t make that your only option! If one twin wants out you will need a stroller to put them in.
Another option that worked for me at times where I didn’t want to bring a huge stroller was to wear one baby and stroll the other in a single stroller. Then I could switch when they got fussy.
My point here is to have a few options – be prepared! The same goes for what you bring along. Rather than packing up an entire diaper bag every time – always keep it stocked. Pack it with burp cloths, diapers, wipes, clothing changes, and anything else you may need when you’re out with twins. Just add snacks and drink and you’re ready to go!
Life With Twins – One Year and Beyond
Once you get past that first year with twins in your life, do things get easier? Maybe not easier, but definitely different. It helps a lot once they learn to walk. You can have them follow you around the house and out to the car rather than having to carry one at a time (or both at once!) As they get bigger, they will play with each other more, which can be nice. However, they also start getting into trouble. This is probably when someone came up with the phrase “double trouble!”
Getting out with your twins alone at this stage can be difficult. They’re likely too big to wear in a double carrier. They’re too small to let walk around alone and not old enough to know better. Hopefully they like being in a stroller – but as they get curious and want to get out and explore, this can be frustrating.
Frankly, the toddler stage with twins can be madness. Toys all over the floor, fights, getting into anything and everything. You may often find you have little time to actually just sit and relax with your babies. Just like with the newborn stage – give yourself permission to let things go. Especially if these are your first babies, you may have pictured things much differently than what is realistic. It’s ok if life isn’t quite like you’d imagined!
Managing Expectations with Twins
In my house, sometimes I sit and spoon feed my twins on the floor because it’s easier than getting them both in high chairs with bibs, plates and spoons. Sometimes they wear their pajamas all day and the next night. My son is currently sleeping in what was supposed to be the nursery while his twin sister sleeps in our older daughter’s room. It may not always be what I pictured, but I do the best that I can!
Hopefully this gives you some idea of what life with twins is like! I hope you will sign up for our newsletter for exclusive discounts, news and more!
