Lately I’ve been noticing a common theme when I write about parenting. I’m always saying things like “call me lazy” or “maybe I’m a lazy mom.” to preface an explanation of some bit of parenting advice.
It got me thinking – am I really a lazy mom? And if I am, is that really bad?
I did a bit of research and was surprised to find that “lazy parenting” is actually gaining popularity as a parenting style. So today I will share some of the things I do as a mom that could definitely be called lazy.
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I Don’t “Train” My Kids
Whether potty training, sleep training, or any other method that employs some sort of training at it’s core – it doesn’t work for me. Maybe it’s cause I’m lazy and can’t be bothered to put in that kind of effort. Or maybe because I have a sneaking suspicion that those things don’t work. Or if they do work, they come with lasting negative effects.
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We didn’t do any type of training with our daughter. She eventually learned to sleep through the night (and until then, she simply slept with us). She learned to use the potty when she was ready, in a matter of days. Rather than dealing with complicated reward systems and an unwilling child, we just waited until she was ready. It was that simple.
BABYBJORN Potty Chair – Powder pink/WhiteMaybe it’s actually easier to use these methods. You put in the work for a little while and you reap the rewards for years to come after. But even if these methods didn’t go against my instincts as a parent – I’m just too lazy to try them anyway.
I’m a Lazy Mom Because I Don’t Do Everything For My Daughter
Whatever my daughter can do for herself, I encourage her to do. As she grows, I am amazed at all the new things she is capable of. Don’t get me wrong, I love my daughter and I love doing things for her. That doesn’t mean I want to wait on her hand and foot.
We all need to pitch in and do our part in my house. That includes the kids. My daughter helps clean up her toys, puts her dishes in the sink, puts her laundry in the hamper, etc. Sure, I help her out sometimes, but for the most part she does these things herself.
Maybe I’m a lazy mom and just don’t feel like doing extra work. I’m not worried though – I think it’s great for my kids to be trusted to do things for themselves.
I Say “Yes” More Often than “No”
In my home, there are no arbitrary rules. If I say “no” to something, I am prepared to explain the reason behind it to my children. Most of the time, if I say no, I mean it. While I will respectfully discuss the reasoning, I will be hard pressed to change my mind unless my daughter presents me with a really good argument.
It’s so much easier saying “yes!” I am not a pushover, but I don’t believe in saying no just for the sake of saying no. If there’s no good reason for me to deny my daughter’s request, I just say “yes!” If that makes me lazy, so be it.
My Kids Are Unschooled
Is it possible that I don’t send my kids to school because I’m lazy? It’s definitely not the main reason. I could probably write a book about all the reasons why I won’t send them to school. I care very much about the way my children learn, perhaps more so than what they learn. It’s definitely not easy to unschool.
Still, there is a lazy part of me that says, no way could I get my kids ready and out the door every morning for school. Not to mention homework, after school activities, parent participation, school events and all the other ways that many family’s lives seem to revolve around school. I just don’t have the energy for all that.
Related – Eight Homeschooling Myths for New Homeschoolers
I Don’t Have My Babies On a Schedule Because I’m a Lazy Mom!
Scheduling naps, feedings and play time might work for some families. I know many twin moms say that’s the only way they survive the first year. For me, schedules are too stressful. I just can’t be ruled by a clock.
So instead, I feed the babies when they are hungry, put them to nap when they are sleepy, and play with them when they are in the mood to play. It’s just so much easier for me that way, even with twins.
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Besides, over time, a pattern (call it a schedule if you must) develops naturally. And that’s perfect for a lazy mom like me.
I Don’t Give My Kids Baths Every Day
Not even every other day. Not even every three days. Four or five days in between works just fine for my older daughter for a good part of the year. Unless she’s outside getting dirty, there’s really no need for it. And her hair is really long – it’s so much work to wash it!
As for the babies, they get baths a little more often, but their baths are quicker. They don’t need bath toys, bubbles, conditioner, and all the other steps my older daughter manages to add to the bath time routine.
Baths are great, but we don’t need them every day. I’m much too lazy to try to accomplish such a feat.
You can read more on babies and baths here!
I Don’t Provide My Kids With Endless Activities
Maybe this is in line with not sending my kids to school – but I just don’t understand why so many parents feel the need to fill their kids’ days with activities. Can’t children find things to do on their own? I see this so much now on social media because of everyone staying home – endless Pinterest pins with creative things to do with your kids.
Sure, I love doing new and different things with my daughter too. But for the most part, our days just kind of flow. Who knows what we might end up doing. We certainly don’t need a font of arts and crafts and worksheets from which to draw. I’m much too lazy to plan all that anyway.
When I am doing other things around the house and my daughter is on her own, she figures out what to do. Sure, this includes some screen time. But it includes so much more. She can be very creative when allowed to be. Which is why I don’t feel the need to suggest activities for her.
I’m Not Strict About Bedtime
Who wants to struggle every night to get their kids to go to sleep? Certainly not this lazy mom. I enjoy a little bit of time to myself or with my husband at the end of the day. But I don’t need to make a strict bedtime to make that happen.
Instead, we have “Mommy and Daddy time”, which starts roughly around the same time each night. If my daughter is feeling tired and wants to go to bed at that time (which she most often does) then we will do the whole bedtime routine.
If, however, she’s not feeling tired yet and wants to stay up later, that’s fine too. With one caveat. It’s now Mommy and Daddy time, so she has to let us have our time. And when she does get tired, we do a quick bedtime.
It works for us, thankfully. I’m too lazy for bedtime struggles.
I Don’t Micro Manage Playtime
I see so much of this when I take my daughter to the playground or a birthday party. Anywhere that kids go to play together. Parents following their kids around, barking orders left and right, offering “helpful” advice, forcing kids to share.
I’m sure I’ve gotten plenty of dirty looks, but when I take my kid to the playground, I set myself up on a bench and watch. I keep my mouth shut and let her do her thing. The only time I follow her around is if she wants to show me something. If she meets a friend, I let them play. Short of something that might cause physical harm, I do not interfere.
Maybe this is because I’m lazy and want to sit and relax on a bench. But there’s also the part of me that doesn’t believe in controlling play time. So when she’s going the wrong way up the slide and another kid is trying to come down you won’t hear a peep from me – the kids can figure it out for themselves.
There are so many more examples I could give where my parenting might just be called lazy – but I’m just too lazy to write any more of this post. Just kidding….
But for real now – I’m tired! Thanks for reading!
