Top 5 Ways to Get Along Better with Your Kids
Let’s face it, being a parent is hard work! With our busy modern lives, it’s nearly impossible to find time for everything. Sometimes, we can lose our connection with our kids along the way. Read on for my top five ways to improve that connection and get along better with your kids!
Get along with your kids better by allowing them to be heard
All of us just want to be heard, right? For some reason, children often get overlooked and their voices and opinions are suppressed. Do you find yourself interrupting your children during disagreements? Do you often guess what they are going to say anyway and cut to the chase rather than allowing them to state their feelings? I have been guilty of this many times. It’s so hard because a lot of the time we DO know exactly what our child is going to say.
The problem is, by not allowing them to SAY it, we make it seem that what they have to say doesn’t really matter. And maybe it’s true. Maybe the answer is still NO even after they have been given a chance to state their feelings. If you want to get along better with your kids, it’s worth letting them say what they have to say anyway. Listen intently, as if you don’t already know the outcome of the discussion. And who knows, maybe you WILL come to a different decision after you hear what’s in you child’s heart.
Don’t Automatically Say NO to Everything
I know it’s easier, and often times we don’t even have to think about it. Your child asks for something and you just say “NO.” End of discussion. Case closed. If your goal is to have a better relationship with your kids, I suggest you stop and think before you say no. Often times their request wasn’t really that crazy. By stopping to think, you can figure out whether you were just going to throw out an automatic “no” because it was easier, or whether it really is something you won’t allow.
Saying “yes” more often will definitely help improve your connection with your child. I don’t mean allowing things that are against the rules or bribing your kids in any way. Just by stopping to think, you might realize that there was no good reason to say no, and allow yourself to say “yes.”
If you’re struggling to get your kids to listen to you – check out my related post here!
Make Quality Time a Priority – Even if Your Kids Would Rather Watch TV
This one can be really hard. I know how busy we all are. Sometimes it’s so much easier to just let your kids zone out in front of the tv while you catch up on housework or other important tasks that are piling up. I totally get it. And your kids may even prefer it, especially if you haven’t been getting along so well. You might have to force them at first. But making quality time (with no screens, where no one is looking at their phone) a priority is the most important thing you can do for your relationship with your kids.
Related – https://eschooled.com/threatening-kids-to-get-them-to-listen-doesnt-work/
When they are grown and you are looking back, these are the times you will remember. So go outside and play ball, fly a kite, go on a nature walk. Or stay inside and play a board game, or even indulge your younger kids in some pretend play with their favorite dolls or action figures. Play hide and seek, make a craft, bake cookies or cupcakes. The possibilities are endless. Let your child decide. I promise, even if they don’t show it, what they want most is quality time with you. The more you spend, the closer you will become and the better you will get along.
Remember, it’s about quality not quantity. Making time to really connect with your kids is the most important, no matter how much time you have to spend.
Foster Open Two-Way Communication with your Kids
This is especially important as your kids get older. You want them to feel safe coming to you with ANY problem, big or small. If you want your kids to be open with you, you need to be open with them too. If they ask uncomfortable questions, answer them in an age-appropriate way. Don’t shut them down or they will most likely just ask someone else. Who would you rather be the one to teach them the important lessons in life? Don’t rely on school to teach them. You have the biggest influence over your children, so the most important life lessons should come from you.
This also means you allow your child to come to you with anything. This can start as young as when they learn to talk. If your child admits to a mistake or a lie, resist the urge to get mad. Just listen, and then figure out a way together to solve the problem. The more your child knows they can come to you with anything, the better your connection will be. As they get older, you will still be the person they come to when they have a problem or make a mistake. This is the kind of relationship that is vitally important if you want to have a better relationship with your children.
Related – https://eschooled.com/things-you-shouldnt-say-to-kids-10-phrases-not-to-say/
Show Your Children Respect
Just like with communication, respect goes both ways. We all want to feel respected as humans. If you have the mentality that your children should respect you, but don’t show them equal respect in return, this will hurt your connection and make it harder to get along with them.
How do you show respect for your children? Accept them for who they are. Don’t criticize their choices, even if they aren’t the same choices you yourself would make. Respect their individuality. Listen when they speak, the same way you want them to listen when you speak. Don’t make demands, phrase your requests kindly. Treat them the same way you would a peer, or an older person. It’s amazing to me how much worse children are treated in our society. Put yourself in their shoes and remember how hard it was to be a kid. Cut them some slack!
There you have it, my top 5 tips to get along better with your children. I hope you are able to use these to create a closer relationship with your kids and a happier home with less tension.
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