Throughout my twin pregnancy and in those early weeks of having newborn twins, I often wondered how hard it was really going to be. I read a lot of advice that told me the first four to six months with twins are the hardest. Having a goal to reach for, a date in the not so distant future, really helped me in the more difficult times with my twins.
Did things get easier after six months? That’s a tough one. While some things definitely do get easier, other things start to get harder. Today I want to tell you about my experience getting through those first six months with twins. I hope it helps!
For some insight on how having twins can affect a marriage – check out my video on YouTube:
The Newborn Twin Stage
Ah those lovely newborn days. My twins are eight months old now and it already seems so long ago that they were tiny four and a half pound preemies. There are so many things that make taking care of delicate little newborn babies hard, especially premature babies. You have to be so careful to keep them germ free at first. They have trouble regulating their temperature so you need to be careful how you dress them. The only way they can communicate is to cry. They seem to be hungry and want to nurse ALL the time. The list goes on and on.
With twins, obviously these things can be even more challenging. When you first bring your twins home from the hospital, you haven’t yet established a rhythm Most of my days were spent nursing, changing, nursing, supplementing with formula because nursing wasn’t enough, nursing some more, trying to put the house back together while they slept, and repeat. It was certainly a crazy time!
In hindsight though, it was the easiest part of the first six months with twins. Newborn babies sleep A LOT, and newborn twins are no exception. In fact, if they come early as most twins do, they sleep even MORE than the average newborn. There were many times during the day where my twins were asleep at the same time, and I could get a few things done, spend some time with my older daughter, and even relax a little. If my husband was home, we could each take a baby who was content just being held while we watched some tv or played a game with our older child.
What made this stage hard for me was having two babies crying at once. When this happened it could quickly induce panic. Something about a newborn cry is so urgent, so desperate, it makes you rush to try and fix the problem immediately. This was so hard for me if they were both crying and I could only help one at a time. If they were both hungry and I had to tandem nurse them, it was pretty much a disaster. You can read more about tandem nursing twins here.
So for the first couple months – here is what was the easiest and hardest for me:
Easiest things about the newborn stage with twins:
- Newborns sleep a lot!
- Getting them to sleep isn’t very hard
- They are content just being held (by anyone!)
- You can wear two at once in a twin baby carrier relatively easily (more on babywearing twins here)
Hardest things about having newborn twins:
- You spend a lot of time feeding/nursing which is harder with two
- They only know how to communicate through crying, and they will be crying loudly at the same time often
- They wake up a lot during the night, often not at the same time
- Getting on a schedule (if that’s important to you) is difficult with very young babies
Infant Twins from 2 to 4 Months
Now that you are coming out of the newborn stage with twins, things start to change a little bit. Do they get easier? In some areas yes, but in others no.
As babies get a little bigger, they start to fall into a more regular pattern of sleeping and waking. With twins, this is especially beneficial as you can start to form a rhythm to your days and things won’t seem quite so crazy. If you are a schedule person, you can start really getting them on the same schedule at this stage. That works great for some! For me, I preferred not to have them on the same schedule, as I don’t really like tandem nursing (more on that here). Even so, a pattern begins to emerge and that makes things a bit easier.
While most babies at this stage can’t yet get around on their own, they do show more of an interest in their environment. They might enjoy sitting in an infant seat watching you make dinner, or laying on a play gym looking up at and reaching for dangling toys.
Also at this stage, if you’re lucky, they will begin to sleep for longer stretches at night. This milestone is especially important with twins, when you might not have had any regular sleep for a couple months. Starting to get to sleep for longer stretches at night is so important for parents’ well being!
However, with longer periods of wakefulness comes more opportunity for over stimulation. For me, this was a big problem during this stage. It made getting the babies to sleep a lot harder, especially at night when the accumulation of the days sights and sounds made it hard to get the babies to relax. They wouldn’t simply fall asleep in my arms anymore without me having to do anything, and with two babies, this was often very difficult.
Best things about 2 to 4 months with twins:
- Sleep and wake patterns begin to be more regular
- They start sleeping for longer periods at night
- It’s easy to keep them entertained without a lot of fuss
- They aren’t yet on the move and won’t protest too much about being confined (infant seat, pack n play, etc).
- They start to hold their heads up and seem less fragile (translation – you are less afraid to have others help)
- You can still wear them together without much trouble
Hardest things about this stage with twins:
- Over-stimulation can be a real problem
- Getting them down to sleep at night may become more difficult
- If you choose to get them on the same schedule, it can be a struggle as you get your routine established
- Crying is still their main form of communication, and you will likely be hearing a lot of it
The First Six Months With Twins – 4 to 6 months
At this point, your babies have made so much progress you will hardly believe it! So much starts to happen as you close in on the end of the first six months. One of both babies may be on the move, you may begin introducing solid foods, and they may be starting to outgrow some of the baby items that you relied on in those early days.
While I’m not sure if this stage is any easier, it definitely gets more interesting! Now your baby can communicate in more ways than just crying. They will be smiling, cooing, maybe even babbling at this stage. They will be showing an even greater interest in their surroundings, playing with toys, learning to roll and maybe even crawl. Their individual personalities will really start to show through, and you will find so much joy in getting to know and really interact with your babies.
Best things about this stage with twins:
- Your babies will be able to communicate in more ways than just crying
- You will begin to really see their individual personalities emerge
- By this stage, you should have a much more defined rhythm to your days (or even a schedule!)
- Things get more interesting as your babies may be learning new things such as crawling, sitting up, or eating solid foods
- Some babies may even start sleeping through the night at least some of the time
Things that make the end of the first six months with twins more difficult:
- One or both babies may be on the move
- If they aren’t yet on the move, they may become frustrated easily
- It becomes more difficult to keep them entertained
- Keeping both babies together (such as in a play pen) can be scary since they are getting stronger and can accidentally kick, slap or scratch each other
- They may be starting to get too heavy to wear them both at the same time
- Longer periods of wakefulness during the day means less time for household chores, older kids, etc.
- Getting out of the house becomes more of a challenge
The first six months with twins is certainly an exciting, wonderful, challenging yet blissful time. The days may seem long at times, but before you know it you will be through it and into even an even more interesting and fun stage with your twins. Twin parents learn quickly to be strong, resilient, resourceful and flexible. You’ve got this!
